Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I need to stop coming to work sober
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
