Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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