If that was your dad, he is hot
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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