Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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