i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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