I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
