It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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