he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
