I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
