Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
