found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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