New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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