my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize