So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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