Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
