I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
