And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
