I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
