His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
did i walk over a car last night?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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