The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
