What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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