man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
