I love watching others lives come down to our level.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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