Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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