I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
