I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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