i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
