Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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