We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
