If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
