Michael Bay diarrhea
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
BRING THE BAGELS
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
