So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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