you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
