Don't you send me to vm
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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