yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
