You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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