the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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