I wish I only lived at night.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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