i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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