.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
