Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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