you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
