I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
This is my gift to your gina
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
