I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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