I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I believe in your delicious
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
