There is no way he is gay with that hair.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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