this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
