yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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