If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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