Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
