:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
